EPMS, Assembly Sharing, R&R, #life

School-wise, I feel more like a teacher now.

EPMS

Had to do my EPMS over the weekend, and I struggled to do it because I am not used to dwelling on my own achievements (which I have to do when I decide what to write and how to best word it). I don't like to feed my ego because I think my ego can balloon pretty fast, and it's scary.

Assembly Sharing :(

I also was given the task of crafting the free play piano resources (which i enjoyed doing) and then sharing it with the whole school (which i did not expect...)

R&R

We had our first Music R&R today! The pre-EPMS-er in me would like to say "I pushed for it and IT FINALLY HAPPENED" but the post-EPMS-er feels like saying that now (no longer in ignorance, but now knowing the truth) is actually possibly dangerous... haha.

I would just say that we had our first R&R today and it was quite... affirming. Also because I typed the minutes I felt like I was learning... i guess (: Always better to learn than to zhuobo, because #lifeisshort

#life

Today was quite a rollercoaster ride for me in terms of #life, actually.

Was quite shagged doing the EPMS and rushing the free play resources etc (a lot of multi-tasking on my mind) and then there was an afternoon incident which did not help matters.

When I finally went home at ~6.30pm, I decided I was awake enough to pack all my clothes back into the cupboard. That was when I realised that the clothes washed from last last Sunday (all my staples that I washed after I came back from Thailand) were REALLY not with me. [The previous night, my mum said "your clothes are (1) with you in your room, (2) washing or (3) in this unwashed pile. They are not with me!" and they weren't in the unwashed pile]. After checking downstairs, I asked my grandparents and even my auntie, but they denied seeing it. My dad came back at ~9plus and he said he didn't see it either. When my mum came back, she was adamant about her statement. Our conversation probably went something like this:

Me: "Mum did you see my clothes? I know you said you didn't, and you said that the clothes are all either washing (now they have been washed and are in this blue basket) or in this unwashed pile... but I checked and they are not here."

Mum: "When did you place them in the pile?"

Me: "Early last week."

Mum: "I definitely did not take it. I don't take clothes that are not mine [duh]"

Me: "I know you won't do it on purpose. I'm just wondering if you can think of some way...???" [being frustrated]

Mum: "Which pile did you put it in? Did you even put it in the pile?"

Me: "................."

Mum: "If you put it in the pile, I definitely washed it. So if it's not there, means you didn't put it in the pile."

Me: "I am sure I put it in the pile...!! I'm not saying you are wrong or you purposely didn't wash it or anything, I'm just asking if there is ANY OTHER WAY... (trails off) Nevermind." [Leaves room].

I asked my aunt and grandma again, even checking my aunt's pile (probably bordering on frustration this time :/ ) to no avail.

I was honestly very frustrated at this point now, to the point that I cried (yes, wallow in self-pity time). But in my defence, these ~5 pieces were my wardrobe staples.

As I cried, I asked God "what good can come out of this?" and He said "be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10), a verse I recently read in a book called "Let Go".

At this point, I decided that I would give those piles of clothing a last final check, so I went back into my parent's room. After checking the piles, I decided to open the cupboards (i don't even know why I did that).

Lo and behold, in my parents' computer cupboard lay my clothing items, neatly folded, with my array of socks.

I took them out... and my first thought was to speak accusingly.

But God reigned in my heart, and His peace came over me, and I knew that I did not need to accuse, because what was this matter worth, compared to how much God has forgiven me?

So the words that came out of my mouth were gentled by the Holy Spirit, and I just said:

Me: "Oh, I found them!"

Mum: "(pause) Where?"

Me: "In this computer cupboard."

My parents were silent, and I was once again tempted to be upset ("Wha why never even say sorry? Cannot apologise? Forgot about the sermon a few weeks ago?") but God stilled my soul, and I am so glad I did not say anything like that, nor let wrath take over me and cause me to lash out.

God is good.