Anger-Management

This is an incredibly ironic account.

On Friday I was called to relieve 3CA for ~10min and the moment I got upstairs, I saw a fuming Weilong and an excited Nickesh who hurried to me and told me something that Weilong did. Or rather, tried to tell me, but he had ‘helpful’ friends like Ziwen and some other ppl in the class, and Weilong kept interrupting in outbursts...  I raised my voice and told everyone to stop. Gave simple instructions and explained that I was going to talk to Weilong first. Fists clenched, he pushed the table and stalked out.

Once out, I got him to tell me what happened. Truth be told, his story had some loopholes so I caught him on those and got him to understand why they said what they said, then moved on to anger management —> that took a long time as his tears started to well up and he told me he cannot control himself even though he knows he should. Honestly, that pierced my heart? That we are born slaves to sin. 

Made him do the simple “100, 200... 1000” with me a few times, as well as breathe deeply and slowly, and he really tried.

After that I spoke to him again and he now kept cutting me off saying that he always finds that he cannot control himself. 

Talked to him a bit more about how none of the teachers expect him to be perfect and like an angel, but what we are looking out for is improvement. That he puts in effort to really attempt the methods we teach him to manage his anger. That’s all we look out for.

Told him that I would see if he applies the technique the next week. 

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Had a pretty intense afternoon and the mum was talking about surprising dad for his birthday, cooking up an elaborate story. I agreed, because even though I knew my dad couldn’t care less, mum would want to do it... besides, how difficult could it be to get dad to eat at Breadtalk HQ since he (I) always suggested going there and (II) it made sense to go there and eat because my cells was at Macpherson.

Boy, was I wrong. When we got into the car I mentioned going to Breadtalk HQ to eat and dad didn’t say anything (and the case is usually that he will just go), so we talked about other things (plus trying to calm my mum who was being excited waiting at Breadtalk HQ to surprise him)... until I realized he was turning right at heartland mall.

Me: eh? Aren’t we going to Breadtalk HQ? 

Dad: err no leh, you mean you have an appt there? I thought we should go home so you can rest.

Me: ah? But I have cell at Macpherson at 8- why don’t we just go there and eat?

Dad: yeah 8 right, wha see, now alr 7. I think there will be no time to eat. You know how I don’t like to rush. Why don’t you dabao from the coffeeshop below our place and then I’ll send you there.

Me: huh???? Then why can’t we just go Breadtalk HQ and dabao?? (Panicking plus getting frustrated cos seriously, the dad is not making sense now)

Dad: ya and anyway I wanted to wait for mum la. Mum is not done with work yet (this is a lie, she was surprising him that’s why she told him that), so if we eat now then no one will eat with her later (my heart melted at this after I cooled down -.-)

Me: but why can’t you wait for mum at Breadtalk HQ while I eat/ dabao food? 

Dad: aiyah you don’t understand how I think

Me: *speechless* *ya I don’t understand* *youre not making sense what* *now how on earth do I rectify the situation?* *picks up phone and tells mum “he doesn’t want to go Breadtalk alr la”* *accidentally posts it in our family chat* *my dad takes his phone and reads it* 😒🙁😞☹️😔😣😟😖😫😩😤😠😡😡😧😱😨😮😲😑😯😵😵😲😲 #whybadtoworse

I blurt:

“Aiyah see la the surprise spoilt alr la. Mummy actually waiting for you at Breadtalk la. See la. Aiyah next time I don’t want to be a part of the plan alr la...”

Dad: *laughs* oh I see. No wonder... aiyah, what for must surprise... I was actually waiting for mum to eat dinner and so if I... etc etc (but my frustration is not assuaged especially because he still doesn’t make sense).

After awhile, dad puts his phone on speaker and makes a call. It goes something like “yes, instead of meeting at my house, let’s meet at Breadtalk HQ instead.”

We sit in silence for awhile then I burst: “OH so that’s why, because you were meeting someone at home! Then why you cannot just tell me that you had a meeting, then i would have told you about the surprise mah. Why you just keep quiet then I assume you’re going, then I realize actually you’re going home, and then when I ask then you give all these reasons that really don’t make sense at all?”

My poor dad (Poor thing because his birthday but he got exploded on LOL) had to explain that he had so many things on his mind, that he felt this need to go home but he couldn’t recall why at the moment.

But I had already exploded. The damage was already done. Although everything was rectified after that at dinner, and we forgave one another... I look back in disgust at my actions.

Lord...

Teach me to see my parents in the way You see them. Give me the will, and the power, to do Your will for me, which includes honoring them and being a testimony to them.