#backtothebasics

Finally had time to sit down and blog about Children's Camp. And well... pretty much everything ties into that.

Was struggling with an issue... okay fine. I admit that I knew it was wrong but was struggling because I wanted my way. And because I was struggling, I naturally turned away from God, and the things of God. Rebellious child that I am. Although externally I was saying and doing the things that were right, I was warring with God internally.

But (thank God!) because I had already committed to serving in Children's Camp, I had to go and do it. And although I began the camp with a most unwilling heart...

God was in all of it.

Let me attempt to list the major ways He hammered His truth into my life these few days

ONE

This verse which has been the "sign off" for my personal email since JC, "No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please Him who enlisted him as a soldier" (2 Timothy 2:4), was in the kids' memory verse booklet. This meant that they had to recite it to get points, and thus I had tons of times where kiddos were reciting this to me. (smart ah, God). Other verses struck me too, but this stood out because... the reason I put it into my sign-off is because I struggle with this.

TWO

Pastor's simple message on the 2nd day about how a good soldier of God needs to be strong, loyal, careful- and it struck me that I am not careful. I do not guard my heart. God tells us "above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" (Proverbs 4:23).

THREE

The simple, yet overwhelming fact that there are so many needs to be met- what am I doing struggling to accept where I am now? Every few minutes, kids/helpers clamour for my attention. And then there are the kids who need the attention but don't clamour for it- and if I am not paying attention, how easy it is to be blind to their needs!

On one hand, I am tempted to be filled with regrets. I want to blame myself for not guarding my heart, for not being a good testimony, for not listening, for justifying myself, for lingering on the "what-ifs"... for very possibly being more of a harm than a help.

But I know that wherever I am now, it is just 1 step away from surrender, 1 step away from God being able to "work all things together for good to them who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28). And this 1 step simply involves me saying "God, I trust that You know better. I trust that You are God... and I am not."

Convenient?

Theoretically, yes.

Practically... hurtslikeabitch. But God gives grace such that you are able to bear it.

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful, and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape so that you are able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Run towards His love. Hedonism (running toward sin) and Asceticism (running away from sin) are both flawed in that both attempt a manner of life that is separate from God. And what's the point of that?